Part Three of Three…
“Are you ready?” Yusuf asked me, looking at the time.
I glanced up at our bedroom clock. It was nearly two-thirty am. I widened my eyes at him, getting anxious.
“How are we going to get up?!” I asked, panicking.
He grinned at me, ruffling my hair as he walked past.
“Let’s just stay awake,” he said mischievously, turning to look back at me. “For old time’s sake, huh? I’m too excited to sleep anyway.”
I looked at him, warming to the idea. We had pulled all-nighters a lot when we were first married, just talking and getting to know each other, but now that we had two mischievous toddlers to worry about, we simply couldn’t manage without a night’s rest. Thankfully, tonight Yusuf’s mother had said she would see to them, so our time was our’s, just for now. It felt a bit strange to be free of parental responsibility.
Adjusting to life with two kids was quite a mission for us. We had expected to have a child, but two at once was a bit more than we were prepared for! Although it was initially difficult, with all the help we had, Allah Ta’ala had definitely made it easier, and right now, in retrospect, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
One of the most amazing things about being a parent was seeing Yusuf as one too. And as our two grew up, Yusuf and I were faced with things we had never imagined. From carefree and somewhat obsessed newly-weds, we suddenly went to erratic, sleep-deprived parents. Nonetheless, every single thing that we endured as a family made us closer than ever, and just heightened the love we had for each other.
And no, my husband wasn’t perfect, and we had our moments where we just felt like we needed a ‘time-out’, but Yusuf was an amazing father, and as I watched him grow as a father to our kids, I missed my own father more than ever.
“Come sit, love,” he said, glancing back at me, patting the space next to him in the corner of the room.
I zipped my bag and obediently complied, looking forward to what he was going to say. With this great journey that lay ahead for us, I knew he would definitely remind me about what I needed to know. He always said that to keep up our efforts, we had to constantly talk about Allah Ta’ala.
I looked at my husband now, smiling to myself. He never missed an opportunity to open my heart and mind to the wealth of Imaan that we possessed. Even after being married for a few years, I knew that I was so lucky to have him.
And though it had took me a while to realise that Yusuf was so much more than what met the eye, every day I still learnt something new, through him. The path that had eventually led me here was less than admirable, and although Yusuf knew about it, he never made me feel guilty about it. Fareeha had insisted that I come clean with Yusuf about my past, and I did. The two of us were still close, and though I saw her a few times a year, I knew that the bond we shared would last a lifetime. Her advice to me was what got me thinking, and I realised what I had to do.
Yes, everyone got carried away with something or someone at some point in their lives, but how we rise above it and turn it around is what mattered. When we sincerely repent and don’t return to the sin, especially when their is opportunity, Allah Ta’ala’s mercy flows through from all directions. So merciful is our Lord, that if our repentance is sincere, even the recording angels forget about the sins we committed. Knowing this, how could we ever despair of His mercy?
And Yusuf had obviously heard about my silly mistakes in the past, but when he had returned to see me still unmarried, he knew that it was an opportunity for him to show me that there was still hope, despite everything. Even when you feel disappointed in yourself, and hopeless about what may lie ahead, there was still a silver lining out there.
“I can’t believe that we’re so lucky, Laila,” he was saying, as I sat next to him, our knees close together.
I looked up at him, feeling unusually affectionate towards him as he embraced me. He ran his hands through his beard, looking down at me, almost disbelievingly, as he spoke.
“I didn’t think it was possible for us to go so soon, you know..?” he said, shaking his head.
“But Allah Ta’ala made a plan for us. And sometimes we get carried away with everything else, that we forget the One who’s responsible for it all… We forget to make shukar, you know?”
I knew exactly what he was saying. We often got so caught up in this temporary world, that we forget about the One who controls everything. It was Him alone who was calling us for this journey… Awaiting our Labbaik… To call out to Him. It just sent shivers down my spine.
Yusuf looked up at me, and I smiled at my husband now, as he held my hand in his. He was always reminding me about these things, and I was grateful for that. They say that the company of people you keep in the Duniyaa would be who you will end up with eternally, and I prayed for that, as we sat there.
Holy Prophet (SAW) has said, “A person will be with whom he loves.” (Bukhari, Muslim)
The thing was, when you desired Allah Ta’ala, you see Him in everything. You are attracted to what He loves, and find yourself pleased with only that which is pleasing to Him.
Yusuf got up now to engage in Tahajjud Salaah, and I sat for a while, watching him. I loved having the opportunity to do that, once again.
As I had got to know him, it was amazing how much of Sunnah my husband had in his life. And when Yusuf spoke about it, it was miraculous that fourteen hundred years down the line, the words of an unlettered man still had such an impact.
Being of the Ummat of that Nabi (SAW) was an honour that we were blessed with, yet never truly comprehended. It is said that when our Nabi (SAW) went for Mi’raaj, and met the Ambiyaa, even Hadhrat Idrees (AS) longed to be of the Ummat of our Nabi (SAW). Even after being granted Jannah without having experienced Sakraat, he still envied this honoured Ummat.
Such is the status of this Ummat. And if any other religion wanted to imitate their prophet… They really wouldn’t know where to begin. However, we are so blessed, that we can do our actions exactly like the Beloved of Allah (SAW).
It’s proven, even in the west, that this way of life is a means to success… And I had the proof staring at me too, as I witnessed the tranquillity around me.
I watched Yusuf make salaam now as he concluded his Salaah and raised his hands for Du’aa.
Du’aa…. The Du’aa at Tahajjud is said to be like an arrow that never misses it’s target. The pure humility of his posture, as he sat there, brought tears to my eyes as I followed his actions. It reminded me of the first night we had spent together.
At that moment, for a split second, it felt like I was that girl again. I remembered it like it was just the other day, and a familiar feeling descended as I was transported back to that place momentarily, like I was there once again. I remembered the feelings that came with finally being able to find myself, after being lost and enstranged.
But the realisation dawned almost immediately.
That girl was a different person. She had been dancing around in circles, looking for things in the wrong places, before she found the love she had sought. She had been heedless and aimless, seeking contentment where there was none available.
Until it hit her, at a time that she hardly expected.
She finally found what she had been looking for, through the One Who created her.
And it wasn’t beyond anyone’s understanding. Everything has got the ability to perceive, yet we remain blinded out of choice. Our Deen was perfectly moulded for us.
If we wanted love, the Greatest Love that we could ever have was right in our midst, waiting for us to open our heart to Him.
If it was mercy we sought, when we showed mercy to others, the One in the Heavens Above would surely never deprive us of His.
And if we were looking for peace… I’ve found that the only peace that was fulfilling, was the peace that came with turning to our Rabb. The only solace that was worth seeking, was the promise of eternal bliss, that only Allah (SWT) can offer.
Everybody is looking for peace, and the kind of contentment that comes from deep within. Those who used to wake at night to remember their Lord in solitude will be of those first few who enter the eternal abode. Imagine the regret when those who have found peace with their Lord are whisked off to Jannah, and we are left behind?
Rasul Allah (SAW) said: “Richness does not lie in the abundance of (worldly) goods, but richness is the richness of the soul (heart, self).” [Muslim]
And how to find that contentment, was to be happy with what our Lord decrees. To accept that by Him being our Master, we automatically become slaves, in this world of play and amusement. To guard our gazes from that which others possess, bringing appreciation into our own lives and heart. To become rich through the realisation of how much we have been favoured, if only we could count them.
And then, to remember that Allah Ta’ala only gives the ones He loves the knowledge and piety to realise all of this.
And through this peace, will our Lord look at us, and give us the long awaited glad tidings that we strived for.
The world will never be able to satisfy that craving of the heart. It is only our Rabb who can give us peace. If only we knew, and could see what the mind can never imagine… With the sacrifice in this world, He will grant us the eternal rewards.
It is only with that, we earn the greatest victory of all…
“Gardens of perpetual residence; they will enter them with whoever were righteous among their fathers, their spouses and their descendants. And the angels will enter upon them from every gate, [saying],
‘Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured. And excellent is the final home.'” (Surah Ar-Radd: Verse 23-24)
Author’s Note: “And Remind for verily a reminder benefits the believer”(51:55)
So much more to say, that I have no idea if we have done justice to this blog. Sad that it has come to an end too, but we just hope that Allah Ta’ala guides us to take it into our hearts and practise whatever has touched and affected us, even in the tiniest of ways. Make Du’aa for the youth, who are greatly in need of it.
As a beneficial reminder for us, since we were always so weak, talking about Allah (SWT) is the only way to keep reminding ourselves about Him and His greatness. And though they say that the greatness of Allah (SWT) is impossible for our feeble minds to comprehend, just by looking at and acknowledging the mastery of His creation, we are engaging in some sort of Ibaadat. By introducing Taaleem And Kitaab-reading in the home, hidaayat can flow through our lives, Insha Allah.
Keep company with the pious, be good to others, make shukar for the small things. Try and remember that this world is not for us. Preserve this Deen and don’t take it for granted. Allah Ta’ala is the only refuge we have, so don’t look for solace with anyone or through anything else.
The lessons are endless, and I wish I could remind us of every one today. After all, it’s no use reading and being inspired if we don’t make amal and put into practise. So take heed, and protect yourself, because at the end of the day, we are responsible for our own Aakhirah.
JazakAllah Khair to all the readers, fans and those who offered advice and and constructive criticism as well. May Allah (SWT) reward you abundantly. Will reply to comments as soon as time allows.
A humble request for Du’aas, as I am greatly in need of them. May Allah accept all our efforts in gaining closeness to Him, and help this weak writer to practise whatever has been said first. May Allah grant us all contentment in this world and the hereafter. Aameen
Allah knows best, but something said by certain Ulema is that in this day and age, with all the fitnah, by following fatwa strictly, and performing the 5 daily Salaah (Masjid for men), our status will be like the Awliyaa, Insha Allah. These times that we live in are said to be worse than those of the period of Jahilliyya (ignorance), so just a little sacrifice and self-restraint can take us a long way. Let’s work on our Imaan, Insha Allah. And like our Nabi (SAW) was brought in to eliminate darkness from that time, his Sunnah is needed to bring the light back into our lives again.
So… Please don’t forget our Mission Sunnah Revival! Insha Allah we will continue with it, and I will post when there are any updates.
#Revive the SunnahofSleeping
#ReciteQur’anDaily – at least a quarter