I obediently plopped myself onto the high chair at our kitchen nook, completely overwhelmed by the situation.
Yahyaa. This was about him.
Oh my word.
My palms were getting all sweaty now, just as I pondered about the possible outcomes here.
“Laila, we got a call this morning… With regard to your proposal,” Daddy cleared his throat, and avoided eye contact.
I was literally hanging onto every word.
“Laila, always know that we are here for you and support you. Whatever you choose, we will accept. Yahyaa is a very nice boy, Masha Allah.”
Hold up. Did I miss it?
Like, I completely missed the punch line here. Did he propose?
Did he actually like me?
I just sat there, staring animatedly at my father, trying to catch on.
“He likes me,” I said stupidly, as I looked up at them. My father had a strange smile on his face.
“No, loser,” Bilal said, getting up to leave. “He just feels sorry for you. If he doesn’t propose, then who will?”
He chuckled to himself, as he made Salaam and left for campus. He was so annoying.
“So,” my father continued,”you make your isthikhaarah and you decide properly. Mummy and I are very happy.”
And they looked very happy. Mummy was smiling, but the glint of tears in her eyes were visible.
Emotional much. She came forward to give me a tight hug, saying something about how her little girl was growing up so fast. She was behaving as if I was already gone.
She didn’t want to let go, and as she hugged me again, I could feel tears welling up in my own eyes.
As for me, I was just blown away. Really. Literally blown away.
Not because of Yahyaa. He was great and I did really like him, but he had some bigger things to conquer if he wanted to do that.
I was just in so much of awe of how my Allah Ta’ala had so beautifully put forward this great event of my life. I mean, amidst the hopes, doubts and mixed emotions, He had heard what was in my heart, even when I was completely unable to fathom it.
“Does Haseena know?” I asked Mummy, pulling away.
I wanted to phone and tell her. Or maybe I should tell Fareeha. She would be very excited about it, I was sure.
“She knew before we did,” Mummy replied.
Crap. No use telling her now. I had to tell Fareeha though. It was good news and I wanted to share it. And yeah, I was a little overwhelmed, so I needed to get her opinion.
Hold up, Laila, something was telling me.
What was I doing? I had just got the news that I was waiting for, and my first thought was to pick up the phone.
I was losing the plot, really.
That was definitely not the right thing to do. I had to first pray two rakaats Salaah, thank Allah Ta’ala for my blessings, and pray for Him guide me to what was best and right for me.
At the end of the day, it was only He who was responsible for this outcome.
And in keeping with the Sunnah of our Nabi (SAW), I turned to my beloved Allah for guidance. Because although I was quite excited, I was a bit overwhelmed and afraid of this huge step. And in times of affliction, we know that our Nabi (SAW) would turn to Salaah.
And though I tried to constantly inculcate our Nabi’s (SAW) attributes into my life, I knew why I sometimes failed. There were some people who I just looked at, and they reminded me of him and his Sunnah. I wanted to be like that.
I wanted to really embrace the Sunnah, in whatever I would do.
But, I knew that it was a process. Because, in our rat race, we have truly forgotten the essence of the Sunnah. We’ll ask an Aalim if something is Sunnah, not so we can do it, but so we can leave it out. It’s the blantant truth.
But when modern scientists proved the wisdom behind sitting and drinking, we accept it. When the west tells us that overeating can lead to many ill-effects, then only we adhere. We ignore the benifits of the Miswaak, which no modern day electric toothbrush can compare to.
That is our disregard for the Sunnah. Basically, we are disregarding the ways of our Nabi (SAW), and since he was everything that Allah Ta’ala loved, in essence, we are disregarding the command of our Lord.
We are reminded to often read the Seerah of Nabi (SAW), so when we read about him, we can realise how amazing his ways were. How he acted and interacted. How the Sahaba were so in awe of him, that they would speak of no-one but him.
He was the most beautiful of people, inside and out.
Our beloved Nabi (SAW) was neither tall, nor short. There was a gap in his teeth, where noor would emanate from when he would smile.
He was the epitome of character and good manners. Our Messenger’s (SAW) was compassionate to the greatest degree.
The Sahaba had so much of respect for him, that they never attributed just a single quality to him. His values and characteristics were so extensive, and utterly sublime.
Most of all though, we have completely forgotten that our Nabi (SAW) had so much of love for us, that we would never understand.
On a particular occassion, Ummul Mu’mineen Hadhrat Aa’isha (RA) had noticed him in a very good mood. As Nabi’s (SAW) wife, she took advantage of his nature and his mood and asked him to make Du’aa for her. He consented, praying for her forgiveness of all past and future sins.
Aisha (RA) says that when the Prophet (SAW) make that Du’aa, she had said; “I got so happy that I started to laugh. I became overjoyed and I started to laugh. I fell into the lap of the Prophet (SAW).”
“The Prophet (SAW) looked down on me in his lap and the Prophet (SAW) said, ‘Did my dua make you happy, oh Aisha?’”
Aisha radiAllahu anha said, “Of course it made me happy.” What an amazing Du’a. The Messenger of Allah (SAW) saying, ‘Oh Allah, forgive all of your sins, public, private, those that you have done in the past, those that you will do in the future.’
But what was more amazing, was his response thereafter. Do you know what the Prophet (SAW) said?
والله إنها لدعائي لأمَّتي في كل صلاة
The Prophet sallalahu alaihi wasallam said, “I swear by Allah, this is the Du’aa that I make for my Ummah in every single Salaah.”
SubhanAllah. This beautiful Du’aa that had made Aisha (RA) so overjoyed, the Prophet (SAW) used to make for us, every day. For forgiveness of our sins.
We have forgotten how he cried for us and would fear for our reckoning. We have forgotten that even on his death bed, with the excruciating pains of his soul leaving his mubaarak body, he wished to feel that pain for his entire Ummah, just so that we would be saved from it.
That was our beloved Nabi’s (SAW) concern and fikr, yet we are barely bothered about his practices that have so much of wisdom. We are not bothered to read about his life and implement the teachings of our Prophet (SAW). We refuse to acknowledge his love for us, and love him back that much in return.
The time has gone for us to sit back and let ‘everyone else’ pursue Deen and the beauty of the Sunnah.
It was time for me to take that step, and improve myself.
And in that way, I knew that whatever choices I would have to make would keep that in mind.
I had prayed for guidance and what was best for me, and spoke to Mummy about what I was going to do. I would need a few days to decide and let them know next week.
I knew that I would have to make the choice, and would be guided to what was best.
But I was going to clear my head and make proper Isthikhaarah before making a decision.
I phoned Fareeha later that day to see if she was home. I decided that I would go and tell her personally about the proposal. I needed to talk about it openly with someone, and maybe get an unbiased opinion, just for the sake of it.
Daddy dropped me off shortly afterwards, and I raced into their house, kind of excited to break the news to her. Her parents and siblings were probably wondering what my problem was, but I just greeted them and ran up to her room.
She opened the door, grinning at me, like she knew all along.
“Lemme guess, Lails,” she said as we plonked on her bed. “He’s Mr Right, huh?”
“I think so, Far,” I admitted. “I really like him. And he’s just… So much of what I had always wanted in a husband.”
She giggled at my use of the word husband, probably finding it weird. I mean, it was quite strange to imagine myself as someone’s wife. But it was also strangely fulfilling.
I giggled back at her, basking in the glory of being the focus of attention for once.
“So, where will you’ll be staying?” She asked, while we lay there, contemplating our futures.
Fareeha would be leaving the following week to stay at her aunty’s house, close to where she would be studying.
“On our own, for now,” I said. “But then probably in PMB, where his parents stay.”
She sat up from the bed for a moment, looking at me, but in a completely different way this time.
“He’s from there?” She asked suddenly. “And he’s Umar’s cousin? What did you say his name is again?”
I sat up now, wondering what was up with her. I don’t think I had mentioned his name.
“Yahyaa,” I said, a little hesitantly.
Her eyes immediately widened at me, and her mouth was slightly agape.
“Oh my word, Lails!” She screeched at me. “NO!”